"Stuff"

Once upon a time there was a "retired" pastor who became a ponytailed loner who was often seen pedaling his bike around the streets of his former parish.  He picked up cardboard boxes and bags full of "stuff." 

One day, when neighbors hadn’t seen "Pastor" emerge from his home for several days, they called the police. Officers broke in, only to find a house so full of trash that the only way to get around was through an elaborate series of tunnels running through the filth. The stench was so bad that a police dive team using a breathing apparatus was called in to search for "Pastor." He was found deep inside the unholy labyrinth. Police believed Pastor's problem started when he became disoriented in a Benevolence, Finance, or Budget Church  meeting and began collecting "stuff" to help meet the overwhelming needs facing the church.  “Human Mole Nearly Dies of Thirst … Lost in his own Tunnels of Trash,” read the headline in the Local Times.

Sadly "stuff" most of us would call “junk” - old newspapers, magazines, old clothing, bags, books, mail, notes and lists, as well as other accumulated items (even garbage) was hoarded because he believed the church might somehow need those items in the future. His home became a dumping ground, where piles and piles of "stuff" choked out living space to a dangerous point.  (It didn't take long for the clutter to start spreading onto the floors, countertops, hallways, stairwells, garage and cars. Beds become so cluttered there was no room to sleep.) Chairs become so buried there was nowhere to sit. Kitchen counters become so cluttered that food couldn't  be prepared. Eventually the living space could only be accessed only by a series of narrow pathways or tunnels through the clutter. 


The therapists diagnosed Pastor with "Chronic Wealth Syndrome" - a high-end "stuff" disease symptomatic of a larger and more pervasive human disease.  He told the therapist that "he had been keeping all this 'stuff' since his youth - since his first pastorate."  He now attends therapy twice a week while living in a white padded cell with periodic visits from his family and former parishoners.  He is not living happily ever after.

NOW - the truth?  In this midst of my current move & I am fearful that I may be a hoarder.  I have always been able to get two cars in my garage.  But where in the world did all of this "stuff" come from?  It is like an endless bowl of spaghetti.  I mean -  I am putting "stuff" in boxes & have no answer as to how to label the box.  What is it?  Not sure - "stuff."  I've read that people hoard things that they don't need because they are afraid of throwing away something that they might use later.  I've heard that the difference between a collector and a hoarder is that collectors keep things because they give them pleasure, not because they are afraid to throw them away. Also, they are somewhat organized with their collectibles.  Mmm - makes me nervous. Am I a hoarder? Will they find five hundred empty mayonnaise jars in my attic when I die even though I don't like mayo?


More alarming for me?  In our Staff meeting we listened to Mark Batterson talk about "The Rich Young Ruler" (in Mark 10:22 he had "lots of stuff.") - a case study in "stuff" preventing a person from inheriting eternal life!  Whoa!  The larger question for me is "do I find my identity in "stuff?"  All be it - "ministerial stuff."   What must I do to inherit life?  Get rid of your "stuff" and follow Me.  Wow!

  
Jesus gives him a Facebook quiz on the Ten Commandments (well, at least five commandments, plus another that deals with human relationships; not the first four that deal with humans’ relationship with God), and the rich man checks all the boxes.  So far, the man is perfect. “I have kept all these since my youth,” he tells Jesus. He has managed to maintain a perfect standard, at least in his own eyes, while also managing to accumulate a good deal of "stuff." ( In Hebrew thought, prosperity was associated with God’s blessing, which was the result of faithful living.) To the casual observer, this guy had it all.

If I had everything where would I put it?  "Stuff" can become more of a life-choking burden than a blessing.  (That's why we move every so often - to get rid of some "stuff.") 


Have I become trapped in a maze of my own making?  Isn't it ironic then, that Jesus uses the illustration of a camel going through the eye of a needle to talk about how hard it is for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God? Will the "stuff" that I have accumulated create an ever-narrowing pathway until, eventually, it may be impossible to squeeze my way out? 

While compulsive hoarders need some serious psychological intervention, most people with "Chronic Wealth Syndrome" really need only one prescription. Jesus offers a therapeutic solution. He spells it out for the rich man: “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." Usually that verse elicits a couple of standard responses from my soul.  

On the one hand, I read it and say, “Well, thank goodness I’m not rich!” It must be someone else’s problem. Like the neighbors who walked past "Pastor's" home day after day, I might observe my own wealthy neighbors and think they’re the ones with a possession problem. 



The second approach has to do with the force of Jesus’ prescription. Jesus isn’t really asking me to give up everything I have - is He? ; He’s using a "hyperbolic" metaphor. All disciples of Jesus shouldn’t really get rid of everything we own, right? Surely, this man’s problem with possessions required a much more radical intervention than I need.

Well, maybe. But Jesus’ words here seem to have a more universal application. Even the disciples caught the force of it. “Look, we have left everything and followed you,” they said to Jesus. Jesus’ advice/command to the rich man wasn’t lost on only those who had indeed done exactly what Jesus was recommending. Somehow, I expect that discipleship shouldn’t cost me that much; I think I can somehow maintain my consumerist lifestyle and still call myself a follower of Jesus. As Tom Sine writes, Western Christians seem to want “the American dream with a little Jesus overlay.” 

Jesus challenges that assumption directly, and his words are convicting for me - a person who claims to be his follower. He calls me to think about how I continue to collect "stuff" and hold on to things in my own life. The question is whether I will  seek health and wholeness by learning to give up my stuff when I'm asked, or whether I'll continue to cram my house and body full of the junk that our culture says I need. Only when I'm willing to let go, to see all my stuff as belonging to God, will I begin to see the light of the kingdom break through all the clutter.

The rich man was missing those first four commandments — the ones about honoring God, about making everything in my life subject to God. When I take those commandments seriously, I begin to see that my own idea of perfection is nothing compared to God’s perfection. For God, perfection and prosperity aren’t about full houses and mountains of material goods. Rather, they’re all about emptying, about giving away, about clearing the clutter and letting go of anything and everything that keeps me from finding the door to God’s kingdom.

I don't want to die in a squalid pile of junk in an ignominious end. But die I eventually will do. The question is whether I'll be found trying desperately to hold on to stuff I can’t take with me, or whether I'll be found having given the best of myself and my material blessings to the service of God, who ultimately owns it all anyway. 

The Generation Lap

I once was a long distance runner.  Never was that good - at least at my high school.  I ran the 2 mile by default - I wasn't fast enough (in the top 3 on the team) to run the mile.  Our best miler ran a 4:11, number two ran a 4:13, and number three ran a 4:15.  My measly 4:23 did not hack it.  And in the 2 mile I was the # 3 on the food chain.  Our fastest ran a 9:25, second 9:30, and I brought up the rear with a 9:35 (my all time best).  I will never forget the day I was lapped - that day a dude ran a 9:0something and I ran a 10:0something...later I found out his 9:0something was one of his "bad days" - great - I could have been lapped twice!  I got lapped & got a standing ovation when I finished - how embarrassing- to boot - the girls National leader in the two mile ran in our heat for "some competition" and was on my heels...I have spent the last 35 years trying to convince myself that suppose the standing O was for me. 


This past week I realized I had been lapped - again.  Let's just say I'm technologically challenged. 

Vintage Coleco Mini Arcade Games Frogger & Pac-Man

The generation gap. Old news.  It means that the Builder or GI generation doesn't understand their self-absorbed Boomer children.  It means that Boomers wonder what's up with their Gen-Xer kids.  And older Gen-Xers who have children secretly worry about the Millennial Kids' fascination with   cyberspace.  Preschoolers today can wire anything, view VCR's as museum relics, but struggle to tie their shoelaces.  About the best their Gen-Xer parents, when they were their age, could do, well -- was play a mean game of Pac-Man...and Frogger!   Middle-schoolers can help their parents navigate Windows, but don't know what to do when asked to wash windows.  High-schoolers spend hours on the Internet, sending e-mail, texting, tweeting....Their online world is one where it is easier to learn how to build bombs than to build relationships.  While the hackers of our country are peeking into the Norad, the army, or the FBI, their Boomer or X'er parents are often trying to hack into their own computer.

It's more than a gap -- it's a lap. A Generation Lap.  Like I said - I have been lapped - again!  While I was sitting at the computer, slowly punching in passwords, trying to go online and check my e-mail, my Millennial Munchkins were racing around the cyber-track -- chatting with friends, researching a school paper, and downloading songs -- all at the same time!  As my daughters grew through this phase I - often - noticed them "downloading" during a church prayer.  Now Dad - "we are made in God's image & if He can multi-task so can we."

I've been lapped.

Here's what's happened:  A Generation Lap occurred when I was overtaken by my more technologically savvy offspring.  I sometimes believe my "Net generation" kids have an innate, magical relationship with information technologies, one that is completely alien to all who have come before them.   I did not grow up with computers in the classroom and will never catch up with those who did.  

Old School Computer Lab

My freshman year in college I dropped a stack of COBOL cards in the Old School computer lab right before the card feeder - some of you know what I am saying here.

As a parent of "Millennials" I got depressed until I considered this:  Getting lapped could be good.  I am not too physically fit these days - could use some work in that area.  The Bible calls for me to be spiritually savvy, and to maintain a fitness for faith (remember 1 Timothy 4:8?  - bodily exercise profits little but spiritual exercise lots) - not only for me, but future generations.   I think it should be the goal of every generation to see its children sprint to new levels of health, happiness, wisdom, and spirituality.  But lapping is never a sure thing.   


I think that is why the Apostle Paul devotes so much time in his letters to spiritual growth, often invoking a racing metaphor.   Some would argue that Baby Boomers (that's me) not only failed to lap their parents in terms of spiritual faith and maturity, but actually fell far behind. Instead of racing ahead to new positions of faithful service, they stumbled and fell in a false start of "me-centered" spirituality.  But with each new generation there is hope - my hope and prayer is that the younger folks will return to God - some are already out front of their Boomer & X'er parents.   I know mine lapped me a long time ago - and that makes me feel good.   FYI - they get their spiritual fitness & ability to multi-task (even in church) from their Mom.   As for me - well.... I gave up pursuing the spiritually contemplative lifestyle a few years ago.

Family Holiday Gatherings

This past week we had a "Holiday Family Gathering." My own family's hypocrisy helped me understand what I read in Twain's Huckleberry Finn.  Dysfunctional family life has been around long before pop psychology defined it for me.  Now - I really do "enjoy" to (occasionally) get together with our end of the gene pool. These can be dangerous gatherings for me. (Growing up I was taught that - "If you are smart, once you've  grown up and escaped, you would be wise to never go near "these people" again- our family & logic is akin to Ma & Pa Kettle.)

"The Speech"

But many of us are drawn to cousinly confabs like moths to dysfunctional family flames.  I have attempted half-hearted excuses to get out of these gatherings - but I am convinced that my own death would not be enough for me to escape - it would be just another reason for folks to gather.  When our kids were younger I would give them "the speech" before we went - well, several times on the way to "the holiday gathering." It was a drive of anticipation to a destination where people probably shared my same feelings and blood.  


Aunt Muggie, Uncle Fuzz, and Aunt Pete were ALWAYS there.  You know - cheek pinching, warnings on the dangers of drugs and alcohol.  If I remember correctly, some of our meetings were actually held in the AA building - I suppose, for a reason. Then there was what my girls call "the old people food" - yep - casseroles and "jello-type-whipped cream - salads...of all kinds (and colors).  Again - according to my girls this was food from "questionable origin" that someone had tossed together from a home-cooking experiment gone terribly wrong.  THEN there was the poor dog or cat who just happens to inhabit the area getting poked, prodded, and otherwise tortured by the "children of the corn."

These days my girls (and my wife) have to give ME "the speech." - When I show up the conversation always seems to polarize to church-state squabbling. True to form, the family begins discussing religion and politics.  Presidential candidates are hurled around as weapons -- and then someone always brings the "Good Lord" into it and I'm supposed to know the election mindedness of God.... “I’ll pray for you,” mutters Aunt muggy (on the right side of the political spectrum) to Aunt Pete  - the one on the left. “You need all the help you can get.”  Thermometers rising... on to something more important - like sports or dissecting the failings of the opposite sex.  Looking for me? - I'm sitting with a glazed expression for the rest of the gathering... next to the sleeping old man, attempting to get my phone to work - no service - my only entertainment is watching the slow progress of drool sliding slowly down this distant relative's  face while he snores with whistles and snorts "three stooges style."

I suppose that is why I "got it" when Mrs. Huckabee gave us a "pop quiz" theme on the feuding family of Shepherdson (& the Grangerfords) - a murdering family who stop from feuding and attend church on Sunday, but still carry their guns.  My take as a High School Freshman was that Twain lampoons the foolishness of so-called educated people.   Families destroying themselves because of foolish pride and absolutely ridiculous behavior since no one in the Shepherdsons "can recall why the family is at war."

This brings me to the shocking command that God gives to Abram is to leave his family behind. It is similar to one of the "hard sayings" of Jesus (Luke 14:26) - one that we like either to ignore or to soften to a more palatable texture. But the command is unambiguous. In Abram's case, leaving the family meant leaving behind all the structures that organized clan life: a known code of legal and moral behavior, an established place in the hierarchical pecking order and the personal cults, gods and idols that were worshiped by the family. But what is interesting is that he never can seem to really get far enough away from them and their influence. What  I am attempting to say is that Abram's family had an "Aunt Pete, Uncle Fuzz, and Aunt Muggie" - just read Genesis  sometime - the dysfunctionality will either alarm or encourage you that you are not alone.  Funny how things haven't changed much in the last 4000 years.

 "Family" is now such a buzzword that in the name of "the family" we will do almost anything. For the sake of "the family," we claw our way up - working longer hours, seeking more pay, taking on huge mortgages for better homes in better neighborhoods with better schools. We may be too exhausted or stressed out to enjoy the big "family vacation," but it is more important and more expensive than ever. The tourism industry knows that the surest way to attract more people is to offer special rates, programs and services for "families." Even Las Vegas casinos are styling themselves as "family casinos" and "family vacation" centers.  Heaven forbid that Muggie, Pete, and Fuzz find that out before Memorial Day weekend.  

Watch Out Las Vegas! Aunt Pete is headed that way!

Speedy Checkout

I was standing in a seemingly endless "Speedy Checkout" line.  Looking around - the majority of cash registers are not open.  This situation screams, "We want your money, but we don't care about your time."  Experiences like this frustrate me, but, as a minister, cause me to ponder.

If a day is as 1000 years to God (e.g. Psalms 90:4 & 2 Peter 3:8)...then how long in "God-years" have I been standing in this "speedy" line?  Simple proportion (I think - although I can no longer do this math in my head - so I used my calculator app.) - let's see...for every hour that passes by in Heaven...let a=24 hrs & b=1000 yrs.   b/a = 41.66 yrs. (41 years, 7 months, 27 days, 14 hours, 24 minutes...that's it  - I'm done...this could confuse God.  My wife is better at math I'll ask her.

I often hear that "the world is going to hell in a hand basket."  It's closer to the truth to say that "the world is going to hell in a shopping cart." Your soul -- not to mention your budget -- is in mortal danger as you approach the grocery store checkout lane. 

You say, "How?" I have carefully filled my cart with the needed items outlined on my list. I patiently wait in line, always seeming to pick the one that's slowest - you guessed it the "Speedy Checkout"(10 items or less). Yet somehow, by the time the checker begins tallying up the items in my cart, it has suddenly filled up with a pack of gum, a box of Tic-Tacs, a four-pack of AA batteries, three candy bars and a magazine for enquiring minds. (In reality - I ran into the store this week to pick up a few items - less than 10.  I am standing in line with windshield wiper blades, grape juice, paper towels, and a bag of M&M's -Easter Bunny Mix. Although I did not really purchase the magazine for inquiring minds I did look at it and discovered that "Hitler, JFK, John Lennon, & Elvis" were ruling the world from Argentina- go figure!)  Bet you've never purchased that combination of products in one shopping trip). 

The couple standing in the line next to me had their 5-year-old along, they had accumulated a new Pez dispenser, a mylar (you know? One of those foil ones that looks like tin that is really a polyester film?) balloon with Mini-Mouse & Happy Birthday in Spanish on it - and a plastic "cellular" telephone filled with tiny bubble-gum pieces. (Stores purposefully pack this kind of junky, funky, consumer gunk into the narrow gauntlet we must run to get to the checkout counter.) Things we would never intentionally have gone in search of are now languish under our fingertips -- inviting, no insisting, that we (or our teenager, grandchild or spouse) grab them.


Although impulsively buying a pack of gum or a candy bar hardly seems earth-shattering or soul-threatening, the truth is that the increasingly voracious appetites of this consumer culture are being methodically nurtured and stimulated by a crass and crushing consumerism. The ramifications of such little things as a checkout gauntlet are ominous. (Especially the "Speedy" kind.)

For an increasing number of people, self-identity and life-purpose are summed up by the mantra "I shop, therefore I am." Raging consumerism has left Descartes' "I think, therefore I am" far behind. Consumer culture has never even heard of, much less considered, God's revelation to Moses, "I am who I am; therefore, you are."

There are many problems facing our world today: poverty, pollution, famines, plagues, terrorism, economic crashes, energy shortages- not to mention as I am often reminded by the media of simultaneous global cooling and warming (how does that work?) But the most vicious and voracious of all these problems is overconsumption.  Of whom I am, as the Apostle Paul would say, "The Chief of Sinners."


Isn't it amazing how much time I had to think while standing in the "Speedy" Checkout aisle?  If you think that is amazing,then you may want to know what goes through the minds of the people who are listening to my sermon.  Not sure I like the idea of a 'speedy' church checkout.... but then no short winded preacher has ever been fired that I know of.... I wonder how many years I preach on "God-time?"   Not sure I want to ask.