What's Your Drink?

I was at a wedding recently where some folks got a bit ‘tipsy’ and began sporting Kung Fu dancing moves.  It was quite entertaining. (FYI -the four steps of drunkenness are alleged to be the jocose, the bellicose, the lachrymose, and finally the comatose stages.) One of my daughter’s friends asked her “how do you guys have fun without drinking?  I have testified to this many times that my wife and I are convinced that we are the last Christians on the planet who don't drink.  She went out after work with her peers not too long ago and they tried to coax her into taking her first drink.  Did I mention we are no longer as vulnerable to teen peer pressure?

I can tell you (no rumor) that I don't drink, chew, smoke, steal, commit adultery, covet, take God's name in vain, or dance (very well that is)  -  take drugs, play cards, or gamble. 

Why not?  Some of those things I just don’t enjoy.  Others are not the “sins that so easily beset me.”  Still others I do not do because of a conviction not to do those things.  I would like to say in all others it is  because I am such a good Christian.  But in reality it is because Christians who gossip are always somewhere in my life keeping track of my sins.  Keeping me accountable.  I don't do these things because people don't think I would and should do them - and I find a kind of wholeness in being who people think I am.  Some would call it integrity.  Reputation is important to me - and I think it should be for a person of God.  Lose even a shred of it, and you can be ruined for life. 

We feel like the Recabites whom Jeremiah tried to spoil.  It was probably at a July 4^th  party when Jeremiah set bowls of wine before the Recabites and said, "Drink some wine!"  But the Recabites said, "We do not drink wine, because our forefathers Jonadab son of Recab gave us this command: 'Neither you nor your descendants must ever drink wine.  Also you must never build houses...but always live in tents. (Jeremiah 35:6-7).  We are still pretty liberal for modern day Racabites, while we don't drink, we don't live in a tent – yet.  But in this economy who knows?  But we really feel comforted since we found this scripture to back up one of our preconceived notions.  At least we know there were others along the way that did not drink and were fairly dogmatic about it.

Like the Recabites, we don't even drink wine for our stomach's sake.  When we lived in Oklahoma where the water was said to be polluted with plutonium we still didn't drink wine.  We  have often discussed this and asked ourselves is it because some Christians think its wrong or because Jesus thinks its wrong?  Well - you know - Jesus drank wine - rats!  He even made his own.  Probably a good year too.  And we don't think Jesus ever sinned.  I know Christians are mixed on the subject. 

One "sister" in at church was castigating her friends who were drinking wine (it was suppose to help prevent Alzheimer's for crying out loud) when one of them asked her, "Why do you speak against our drinking wine? Don't you know that Jesus drank wine?"  "Yes," she said, hanging her head, "but I think I would think a lot more of him if he hadn't."  Then there is the senior adult ladies Sunday School class whose cure all was "rum raisins."  No wonder they couldn't get up the steps to the church. But alas - they were pain free.  And that was good.

Growing up as the son of an alcoholic I observed the problem with alcohol is that the feelings it evokes are not transforming. They are merely transitory. While it is true that a wallflower may bloom into a beautiful rose while "under the influence," it is a hot-house blossom that will wither and curl the moment sobriety returns.

Isaiah knew that his people were parched and thirsted for a quenching gift  - a hand-held divinely-granted drink.  That gift?  Freedom. (Isaiah 43)
 The water Isaiah speaks of is transformative. "What's your drink?"

”What are you thirsty for?”

Few communities are as schizophrenic about an issue as are our particular group.. We even refrain from using any form of alcohol in the communion cup.  Although I have heard of conservative Churches on the east coast using Mogen David (its blessed by the Rabbi, remember?) and are not accused of being wine-bibbers.

Jesus proclaims that "...those who drink of the water that I give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life."  Is it any wonder that draughts of such a potent spirituality render me a bit tipsy?

So generous a host is the Holy Spirit, that the Christ followers in Acts are mistaken for drunkards.  The twist? Those blithering, blundering, bullheaded disciples are transformed into articulate, charismatic, courageous spiritual leaders.  The Holy Spirit's living water kept their own spirits buoyant.

So, what’s your drink?  Be careful - you could be "moving your feet" & sporting kung fu moves in the blink of a drink.

The Face I Deserve

Heard the Bud Light "Mr. SPF 80 Sunblock Wearer" commercial a few days ago while traveling to and/or from visits.  Relax - I was innocently listening to 103.3 ESPN sports for a few updates.

"Today we salute you Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer.  There are 24 hours in a day -You're wearing 80 hour protection. If the sun fails to go down...You'll be ready.

Your coconut-scented force field

blocks out all the sun's rays and any stray rays from another sun in another galaxy.(you're a star)

30 SPF? Please...you might as well be wearing cooking oil (something smells delicious)

So Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer...feel free to crack one (a bud light) open at high noon in the middle of the Sahara Desert (mr. 80 SPF sunblock wearer)"

I am among those over the age of 30 would not dare go out for a day in the sun without a thick coating of sunscreen, SPF 15 at least, slathered on my skin. I might even add a stripe of neon colored zinc-oxide down my nose, plus a hat for good measure. Of course, for me,  the words of warning about over-exposure came too late. The damage has been done...I looked into the mirror and have, yes, wrinkles! lines! creases!  (Note:  while on this subject - I 'tweeted' this recently: "Help! Glanced at the mirror in the hospital atrium & promptly yanked a 2 inch hair from my earlobe - it's over, I'm old.")

Yeech! What an image! No wonder the multi-million dollar cosmetic industry provides so many moisturizing, micro-encapsulated, mega-drenched, money-sucking methods for combating the effects sun, rain, wind, and life have on our faces. As a baby boomer I may just be willing to concede that I should begin to "act my age," it is abundantly clear that I have no intention of looking it. The standard of beauty, the epitome of handsomeness, is still defined by those flawless faces I see on magazine models and movie stars. Big eyes, perfect noses, collagen enhanced lips (scary), soaring cheekbones are all interchangeable from model to model, star to star.

Moses himself is determined to see God on his second trip up to Sinai's heights. Accordingly, God does go to great lengths to make this desire a reality. But what God does not mention, and Moses does not discern, is that experiencing God's presence in our lives can and should dramatically change us - and change Moses it did.

When Moses came down Mount Sinai carrying the two stone tablets inscribed with the terms of the covenant, he wasn't aware that his face had become radiant because he had spoken to the LORD. Exodus 34:29 (Too late for SPF 80)

Moses looks more like Casper than Charleston Heston here

Moses is by no means the only one to experience a physical transformation in God's presence. Remember that when Jacob wrestled with the angel, his hip was put permanently out of joint; poor, clumsy Uzzah stumbled against the Ark of the Covenant and was struck dead; and Isaiah cried out in anguish "Woe is me," when he, "a man of unclean LIPS, " saw God with his own eyes. Many of those who met with God were hardly "perfect-model" types - at least not after their confrontation.

While my spiritual ancestors clearly met God face to face at their own risk, today my sense of awe and my "fear of the Lord" appears to have dissolved. When it comes to encountering God, I too often have all the class and respect of the papparazzi.

2012 Jesus face in meter...must squint and turn head to side

Now - I have never seen a  "miraculous appearance" of Jesus' face in some bizarre place. No Jesus has shown up in my bathroom, on a flour tortilla, on a photograph of Aunt Muggie or Uncle Fester.  I must say at least the face of our Lord has had the good sense to appear on a mass produced piece of advertising - no more foolish trekking to southwestern lavatories just to see Jesus. I understand that he  appeared on a Pizza Hut billboard ad - hawking their new spaghetti, the face of my savior has made its appearance. On a fork holding aloft a gooey mass of pasta and sauce, people all over Atlanta, Georgia, saw Jesus' face - his nose and brow and cheekbones outlined by the spaghetti itself, his hair and beard given their substance by the sauce, even the oregano and cheese pitch in to provide him eyes.  Pizza Hut lore has it that they had to hire extra operators to deal with the avalanche of inquiries that phoned in.  Not sure how this would work but now that Pizza Hut has taken on Domino's in the home delivery game, if He shows His face again - these folks could want an order of Jesus "to go."

Jesus is suppose to be in here somewhere

Moses' face, forever altered by his encounter with God, enabled him to communicate the power of God's presence to his people. Furthermore, as Exodus 34:34 states, Moses' transformed face allowed him to converse with God "unveiled." His initial experience with God's glory so changed Moses that from that time on, he enjoyed a uniquely intimate relationship with the divine.


This all has made me think. Does my face reveal my faith? or just the fact that I am getting older?

I'm past 50 and it is said, "After 50 - everyone gets the face they deserve."
What face-marks do I have that testify to having been in His presence?  The face that I have -  is it the face I deserve? I'm afraid to say.  One thing is for sure, just to be safe -  I'm graduating to SPF 30 next time I mow the lawn.

Jerky Behavior

In a former life I kept a "little black book" of people I would have liked to punch in the face. I have been "dead to that life" for many years now.  However - I crossed paths with a couple of real jerks this past week. 


These were painfully annoying and woefully unaware jerks -- like the guy in your office who smacks his gum so loud it shakes the walls of your cubicle; your husband's second cousin "Eddy" who manages to show up at every family event, devouring desserts and consuming conversation with endless stories about himself.  


There are some straight-up rude and downright disrespectful jerks in this world.   They're the worst. This girl knowingly cuts in front of me at Starbucks to order something for everyone in her office. No apology. No recognition of her rudeness, just a curt demand for "18 half non-fat, half one percent, extra-hot, split-quad lattes with whip. Now."  OK!

And, of course, there was the guy who rode my bumper on the way to visit the hospital -  only to blow past me later, honking his horn and shaking a fist, (and pointing his finger) all while updating his Facebook status.


Jerks come in different shapes and sizes. Some are annoying and others rude. But regardless of particular nuances, there's one category into which all such  fit very nicely. They're all jerks. And in case you haven't noticed, the world is full of them. 

In fact, the epidemic is so widespread it's safe to say that at one time or another we've all been rightly labeled as one.  I know I am "chief" among them.  You know the "jerk" who couldn't make up his mind at Starbucks so I had to cut in front of him.  Or the "jerk" who was traveling five miles an hour UNDER the speed limit and wouldn't pull over to the shoulder of the road and let me pass? Jerk!


Interesting observation -  not only do rude, socially challenged, thoughtless, boorish, offensive, vulgar, bad-mannered, uncouth, vile and foul people make life less enjoyable for others, according to one scientific study, being a jerk is actually a detriment to my own health. That's right, if I chew with my mouth open, talk back to my supervisor or run around the freeway like a NASCAR driver, or even if I nearly stroke out arguing with my Christian brother today, it may just hinder my health and keep me from living longer tomorrow. So if I'd like to live longer, at the very least I should stop being a jerk -- to put it bluntly. 

Summarizing data from millions of people studied in dozens of academic articles, the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest asserts that those whose personalities could be summarized as boorish or jerk-like tend to acquire more diseases, and die at earlier ages than those with other, more socially palatable personality traits. According to one study, heart patients with Type D personalities -- people who lack confidence and are prone to irritability -- are at a substantially greater risk of heart-related death. By contrast, people who are open to new experiences, exhibit more flexibility in their temperament and can more easily "go with the flow" are at a lower risk.

While this makes for interesting conversation at the family reunion or an excellent comeback the next time my brother-in-law rolls his eyes, as a Christ follower I should not need the lure of longer living to keep me  from being a jerk.  Amazing how God works - He has great timing.  In my Bible reading this week I browsed 1 Thessalonians, chapter 5,  where Paul gave me some insight about my life in Christ and what I should keep me kind and jerk-free.

Perspective.  My argument is that much of what makes for a jerk-like approach to everyday living is my myopic view of my own existence. My annoying habits grow out of my lack of social awareness -- that is, my view of the world fails to include the sensitivities of others. Anger and frustration I spew at others over small things shows my ignorance or a lack of appreciation for what constitutes a truly big issue.

Maybe you've figured this out already, but much of what drives me to boorish or jerk-like behavior is fear. From the words I mumble under my breath  at a waitress to the cold shoulder I give, if I  dig deep enough, I discover that its origin is fear -- fear that I'll be neglected, abused or considered unworthy. In response, my sinfulness takes up what it believes to be the most protective shield: being a jerk.

While fear clouds my mind and gets me drunk with delusions of my destruction -- driving me to jerkish self-defense -- the light of truth sobers me up and calls me to lay hold of greater gifts, which protect me from real harm.

Next time, rather than sitting and stewing over the thousand things I could say to the girl who cut in front of me at Starbucks, I'm going to recite the Apostles' Creed, or the Lord's Prayer or Psalm 23, under your breath, until my attitude changes.  Right. Sounds trite, but I need some way to activate my spiritual firewall and regain my perspective.

Scary - this guy kind of looks like me

Or, what if rather than seethe in frustration over the guy at work who chews ice cubes in every meeting with no care for others' ears, I go out of my way to show love to him and be kind to him? In other words, do for him what Christ has done for me: Show him a little undeserved kindness and love. Difficult, yes, but I  just can't wait and see how my sense of entitled, jerk-like retribution fades whenever I choose to see "ice-chewing Bob" through Christlike lenses and serve him despite his faults.

Of course, I could do none of these things and instead download the popular iPhone app, entitled, "Office Jerk." Put out by Fluik entertainment, the game allows you to craft a likeness of your office nemesis -- or anyone for that matter -- and then score points by throwing junk at their digitally represented face.  This promises endless hours of mindless carnage.


Paul's point is that through faith in Christ, the hope of the resurrection and the confidence of a right relationship with God, I have nothing to fear. Run to this truth. Find rest in this truth. Sober up and lighten up. I'm protected by these truths.

Last, Paul tells me that I not only have the light of truth to grant me a greater perspective and an effective armor protecting me from lasting harm, but as a follower of Jesus  I have the unshakable truth that I'm destined for salvation...this shaping my perception of every moment. This is an incredible source of encouragement. 

When the rest of the world is going crazy -- I have to remember my destiny. When everyone else has a short temper -- I have to remember my destiny. When everything from minor details are missed to major tragedies occur, I need to remember my destiny. In the end -- which is all that ultimately matters -- I will "live with Him." (1 Thessalonians 5:10) In other words, "he who possesses blessing in the final hour need not get too worked up about the present moment."  The end result of living in the light of truth, embracing my armor and resting in salvation is a person who is less prone to tearing down another person over a petty issue and more concerned with building someone up. Get this series of imperatives that are as far from jerklike living as I can possibly get. "Respect .... Be at peace .... admonish ... encourage ... help ... be patient .... Rejoice ... pray ... give thanks .... hold fast to what is good" ( 1 Thessalonians 5:12-21).

It's a daunting list. But the implications are clear. If being a jerk can shorten my life, I am heeding the call to be the exact opposite.  I have noticed jerks are everywhere. Whether or not being one will actually shorten my life is up for debate.
Since I am already "dead to" & have tossed my "black book" of folks I'd like to punch in the face...how can I possibly let my life be torn down by jerk-like behavior, both by me and against me. I'm choosing to be the kind of person who builds people up.  The choice is mine, and it's pretty clear. 

Come on self; don't be a jerk.  There are enough of those already.