Saturday, March 9, 2013

People Patrol




The first time one of our children came home from school with a note proclaiming that the notorious head louse had once again made an appearance I became a "nit-picker." Each "nit," or tiny egg of the louse, must be meticulously combed, picked or pulled from the single strand of hair it is attached to. The fact that this procedure was carried out on our squealing, enraged, embarrassed six-year-old only made the task that much more unpleasant. I have a confession to make. Unfortunately, I am like the people in my life who have perfected the art of nit-picking.  I too often feel compelled to demonstrate my skill in too many situations in my life.  I have been on 'people patrol' for over 52 years now and I am not so sure that is a good thing.  I am a Pharisee - there - I said it.

My Nit-picking always involves noting what is wrong with something and someone rather than what is right. Too often I can't enjoy anything, especially anything that has a flaw in it. With little sense of humor I get to be a pickiness-person and look for a spiritual or theological or moral "gotchas" to flaunt at others. I too well remember the nit-pickers in the story of the blind man's healing? Instead of rejoicing with the man at the miracle of regained sight, they can only focus on the possible Torah infringements that might have made it possible. (See John 9).  Oh how the Bible interprets me more than I interpret it.

Have you noticed that an accomplished nit-picker can burst any celebratory balloon? "The wedding was so beautiful; such a shame the groom couldn't have lost a few pounds for the occasion." "Congratulations on your new promotion. But you've still got an awful lot of the ladder to climb, don't you?" "The new sanctuary looks wonderful. Of course, we'll probably never grow enough to fill it or pay for it!" Deflating joy, tarnishing triumphs - that's what nit-pickers do best. Ouch!

Wound-Lickers

I remember getting a mosquito bite or a small scratch when I was a kid and then having to listen to my parents' repeated, "now don't pick at it." Of course, they had to keep telling me because there is something self-destructively fascinating about an open wound. We are drawn to it, we want to mess with it, re-examine it, pull off he scab a little at a time to see how it is healing. But this fixation can easily lead to infection - even to death.


Veterinarians must go to ridiculous-looking extremes to discourage this self-destructive instinct in their patients. In dogs and cats repetitive, damaging wound-licking can undo in a matter of minutes all the work a vet has put in on a patient for days. We once had a cat named Mr. Rogers that lost his leg in a trap.  Three inches of infected leg and paw was amputated and the remainder carefully stitched up. A week later Mr. Rogers managed to get at the healing wound, licking and gnawing it open. More infection.  Now left with nothing but a four inch stump, Mr. Rogers began to convalesce once more. But again the wound-licking fixation drove the cat to try and get at the healing stump. His licking caused the bandaged stump to swell and a horrible infection set in that spread throughout his whole system. To the best of my memory a head-gear (a cone), tranquilizers and massive amounts of antibiotics managed to save our cat's life. A wound had nearly destroyed him.

When the Pharisees in John 9:18 recall the healed man's parents as possible witnesses against his previous condition of blindness, they are being wound-lickers. They cannot leave the situation alone, but return to it, trying to expose some imagined wrongfulness. These Pharisees do not even realize that the wound they are re-opening is the gaping hole of their own ignorance and spiritual bankruptcy. Double Ouch!

Goodness-sakers

Remember the old saw about the mother who had to leave her two young children alone in the house for a few minutes? Before leaving, she sternly ordered the children, "Now don't put beans up your noses while I'm gone!" Left to their own devices it probably would have taken an eternity before those kids would have come up with such a bizarre idea, but since their mother had singled it out as an especially obnoxious act, the children were inspired. Of course, when their mother returned home, she found two children rolling around in pain with beans firmly stuffed up their noses.

There is a distinct category of people who inspire similar kinds of contrary behavior in most of us.  "These" are the "goodness-sakers" - those self-appointed crusaders for the promotion of righteousness. "They" consider themselves - and let all the rest of us know it - to be super-spiritual.  These are people who stand around saying, "For goodness sake, why doesn't somebody do something." Or "For goodness sake, look at what they're doing."  Now - I would NEVER do that.  Truth is I have probably done more hindrance to the Good News than help over the years.  Truly thankful God is not finished with me yet - I hope.  I really do.



Few people can be as infuriating and sin-provoking as goodness-sakers. Smart-aleck remarks and visions of dirty tricks seem to float to the top of our minds all by themselves as we listen to the platitudes and puffed-up piety goodness-sakers blow at us. The Pharisees in John's story haughtily invoke their relationship to Moses as a sign of their spiritual superiority (v. 28).  

The healed man, who had shown great self-control up to this point, is at last driven to jab back at these upright, up-tight self-appointed guardians of do-gooding. As usual with goodness-sakers, however, they don't even get the point of the sarcasm directed their way.  Triple the Ouch!

Arm-Wavers

Thank heaven that besides the nit-pickers, wound-lickers and goodness-sakers there are also arm-wavers. These are the people that celebrate victories and lend support in times of defeat. Arm-wavers hoot and holler when their child's Little League team wins the big game - but they also give great hugs and "it's O.K." looks when the team loses 10 in a row. It's not that arm-wavers don't see all the imperfections in that hand-knit size 98 sweater or in life. It's just that they focus on all the beauty that surrounds the flaws instead of the flaws themselves.

It is amazing how arm-wavers are absent for so long from John's story of the healed blind man. Here is a stunning miracle - a man blind since birth suddenly given sight - and no one celebrates. His neighbors are doubtful, his parents are worried about the religious and legal ramifications, while the Pharisees find the whole episode threatening and foreboding. Not until the healed man himself finally realizes who Jesus is and what his presence means do we get the first sign of arm-waving. Indeed, when Jesus' identity finally sinks in, the man offers a full body-wave - he falls on his knees and worships the "Lord" (verse 38). I am not blind and have not seen nearly enough.  Back to people patrol duty.