Placebo Effect

I was late for a meeting on the 4th floor and jumped into an open elevator, only to find that the doors weren't closing fast enough for me so that I could get on to my meeting. So, I jabbed at the "close door" button four or five times and, after a slight delay, the doors ease closed, leaving me satisfied that I have exerted masterful control over the recalcitrant machine. 

Is he wearing shoes?

I got to the meeting, and realized that someone had forgotten that the month of May can still be chilly at times - has the air conditioning on "dog sled" - cold enough for an Alaskan Malemute to freeze. I got up from my chair and adjusted the thermostat, believing that I had saved the day and prevented frost bite.

At lunchtime, I decided to take a walk around the park across the street.  I noticed people putting on special rocker-ized shoes that are supposed to tone  calves, quads and glutes while walking.  There were even folks wearing toe shoes (I think they were shoes - toe shoes?).   I wonder what those would do for me?  Another person was wearing what he called "the Anti-Shoe" - apparently (according to him) designed by Masai warriors.  But do Masai wear shoes? 

I think of it as double-dipping in the fitness department. On my way back, however, I get stuck at a crosswalk where the light is against me. No problem, I think to myself. There's a "push button" there on a post that I can push in order to make the light change and allow me to cross.  I jab at it a few times, just to be sure that it registered, and even though it takes a minute or so, the "Walk" sign changes and I go merrily on my way, once again believing that I have mastered the traffic pattern of the city with the push of a button.

When the day ended, I got back in the elevator, closed the doors again with my magic finger, went to the parking garage, got in my car and headed home - where I can't wait to watch TV.  I settle into my easy chair, flip on the remote and marvel at just how crystal clear the Ranger's Game looks on the screen. Later, I go to bed secure in the knowledge that I have successfully negotiated another day because all the things that should have worked for me actually did.

Or at least I think they did.

See, all those things I  thought was doing, causing, controlling, I really wasn't.

(THE ABOVE CLIP IS LONG but WELL WORTH IT - Classic Andy on Placebo Effect)

You've heard of the "placebo effect" in medicine, where doctors in a study give a control group of patients useless sugar pills but tell them they are painkillers, and the patients' brains convince them that they're the real deal and they begin to feel better. Well, the truth is that the placebo effect isn't just for medicine anymore. Indeed, every day I am encountering things that convince my brain that they should work, but actually don't.

That "close door" button in the elevator, for example, isn't actually there for me to push. It only works when a key is inserted in the elevator panel by a firefighter or maintenance worker. Push it all I want, but the door will close when it's programmed to do so every time. Ever since the Americans with Disabilities Act, the doors wait a little longer to close no matter what. Manufacturers could put a sign on the button saying something to that effect, but that's a hassle. It's easier to let the me believe I am the master of elevator control.

That thermostat on the office wall is very likely a dummy that actually controls nothing. Think about it: What would the cost of heating and cooling be if every individual in the building had access to the real thermostat! That dummy thermostat is there to give people like me the illusion of control; the thinking being that if I believe I've set the thermostat higher, I'll actually feel warmer even though the real temperature remains the same. 

Those tushy-toning shoes? A USA Today article quoted a doctor calling the shoe manufacturers' claims "utter nonsense," and the Federal Trade Commission ordered Reebok to pay out $25 million in refunds to consumers for false advertising. Even so, there are still plenty of people who claim that the shoes work, or at least they think they do.  I have yet to try them.

The "walk" button on the street corner might actually work, but not everywhere. In New York City, for example, all the buttons have been deactivated because they've been replaced by automatic timers. That doesn't stop people like me from continuing to jab them incessantly in hopes of beating the traffic.

And the technology that makes my TV HD may be real, but people like me who bought an HDTV and didn't  realize I needed special hookups (or do I?) - anyway, I don't seem to know the difference. Just telling people I have HD is enough for me to believe the picture is sharper.  I also have wondered whether I REALLY can control the TV remote....mmm.

The bottom line is that there are a lot of things that look like they should work, but really don't. Their purpose is to get me believing that I'm in control while, actually, something or someone else is -- someone who has a bigger picture in mind than my own personal need to get something done. While it's sometimes done under dubious circumstances, often I need to be managed this way for my own ultimate good and the good of others.  Just ask my wife or the congregation I serve.